The Layoff

I’ve been laid off three times in my life and twice in the last two years. I was doing great at work. I was involved in projects, processes and partnerships and while every day wasn’t great, I was building something for my company. Then one day I’m chugging along as usual and I see it on my calendar. A meeting before a meeting. I had just checked my bank account and there was more money in there than usual for a pay day check. “Oooh maybe I made a bonus or something.” Then I get on the meeting and I see ten of my other fellow co workers in the meeting with my boss, my HR lady and their legal person. No one is smiling. That’s because bad news is coming. Our positions have been eliminated. “Not again.” I thought. That extra money was my vacation pay.

At the beginning of last year I had received the same bad news and not by a scheduled meeting but by ambush. I could no longer reach the person I had been managing my team with and I also could no longer reach a person I’d be helping in performance improvement. All of a sudden there it was. A message from my CEO. I had been working closer with him lately as I was a support leader. I figured he needed me to help with something. But, when our HR lady came on in the meeting it was him that delivered the blow. Something about a company re organization and how my position was on the chopping block. All I could muster out in reply was how I was going to miss everyone but to be honest, the last couple months there had been difficult. I had become comfortable and complacent after six and a half years there.

So there I was, out of a job. Blindsided and in shock because for the rest of the day, the rest of the week, the rest of the month, I wouldn’t have a job to go to. I walked out of my office, went to the kitchen, filled a bowl full of candied popcorn and then I started answering phone calls from frustrated co workers who had survived the layoffs but were angered that I had been let go. I appreciated that so many reached out over the next few days. They called it what it was. Bullshit.

At one job I felt like all of the things I cared about were things I now had to walk away from. At the other I was faced with the harsh reality that I had sunk into a comfortable narrative of them being like family to me. In truth, some of them were. In reflection, it was a job with professional colleagues. When you’re hired onto a company, you are a business tool and that company has the right to toss out whatever tool they feel they don’t need. More than likely its just because they can’t afford that tool anymore.

Even though it wasn’t my fault, I blamed myself for losing these jobs. Had I bet on the wrong horse? Had I misjudged the direction of the company I worked for? Truthfully, these layoffs became educational. They allowed me to ask myself a question I hadn’t asked myself in a long time. “What do I want to do now?” If you think hard about it, a layoff is not only not a reflection on you but it can also be a life raft your company gives you to say, “This ship is sinking right now and you’re safer not being on it. Float here and one better built will pick you up.”

This kind of job loss is tough but it’s what you do next that counts the most. You’re a walking talking business. The company that laid you off did so because of their bottom line. Just like the company, you have a bottom line too. Now you’re in business for yourself. After you’ve taken a small break, its time to go to work…for YOU.

Feel free to share your layoff story.