Why We Leave

I was at an employer for eleven years. That’s eleven Christmases, Thanksgivings, New Years, Independence Days and Labor Days to cover the big ones. I missed most of them because I was working. At five years with the company I was supposed to get a pin. A small brass or copper pin that probably cost five dollars to make so I could wear that to work. My customers would ask about it and congratulate me on making it. My co workers proud of me and the milestone. Did I ever get that pin? Nope.

I had failed to realize that from my first day of employment, the number I would be assigned would be that which had a significance of a Borg designation. Watch any episode of any of the Star Trek’s from the nineties and you’ll understand what I mean. The day I started my employment there, my name, my age, my interests, my hobbies, who I had in my life, what was going on in my life didn’t matter to them. Another sucker they could hire at twelve dollars an hour. Another person they could intimidate into working through lunches without pay. Someone with just enough low confidence to never leave them and do everything they told me to do. I made them MILLIONS and I was one of seven on a team until I was one of four on a team until I was one of two on a team and then five new hires to train just to see the team number dwindle again by the middle of the year. “You need us, we don’t need you” seemed to be the message.

It was good career building though. Learning about every product allowed me to become a jack of all trades with gobs of knowledge and ideas exchanged with like minded co workers I respected and even looked up to. The people I worked with were never the problem. It was the people I worked under. The ones who would remind me how replaceable I was if I didn’t do as they said. The ones who would ask me how I would feed and insure my family if they fired me. The ones who told me I would never do any better in my career than them. I was a six figure designation earning my superiors seven figure incomes while barely being able to pay the bills without working excessive overtime. I watched people I respected leave while I stayed. Some lasted thirty years. Some lasted ten. Some lasted a couple years. Most lasted a few months. A clear sign of people drawing the line.

I’ve shared my experience about this time in previous articles and I’ve worked with other employers who were better but sometimes made me feel isolated or unheard. Not all of them. I mentioned the worst experience here. At the time so many of my co workers left, I convinced myself I was safe because I had a job. In reality, the people that left were getting better ones. They didn’t believe the propaganda about never being any better and they weren’t going to settle for being a number.

There are so many reasons people leave their employer. Sometimes it’s a great employer but someone else is offering them more money or a job role better suited to their career. In these cases it didn’t have anything to do with the employer. Great companies have budgets set aside for certain positions and if another company is paying more or the work seems more exciting, people jump ship for those reasons. The day I left the toxic company ended up being the best day of my life. I felt like I was being released from a jail sentence. But they didn’t ask my WHY I was leaving. Instead they got upset with me for putting in my two weeks notice. They told me how I was throwing away opportunity. But I had seen too many company lifers stay, work long hours and go home to increasingly empty houses due to divorce and alienation only to be kicked out when they reached an age they were deemed too old to work effectively anymore. I had finally gained enough self respect to leave for those better opportunities they told me I would never have.

I think when someone quits, exit interviews are important. Companies paying attention can learn from things like this. Asking why someone is leaving is a good first step but a better step would be to go further with the company asking what they could have done differently. Maybe it’s pay or maybe it’s an indication of bad leadership. It could also be a situation where there was an internal position available better suited for the employee but the position was given away to a friend instead of someone who could have made an actual impact. It could also be that the employee never felt seen or heard or possibly told what to say or how to say it. Too much status quo can force a good employee out because the company mantra is to never question the rules. Maybe the word “layoff” has been thrown around too many times but they never happen. Anyone dealing with this is asking if this is a scare tactic or a real threat.

In reality, there may not be much a company can do for one or two employees, but if they create a fast spinning revolving door, there is something severely wrong. I have former co workers who have went on to companies where there is very rarely a new position available. This says a lot about how a company does all they can to retain the people they have. If a position comes up it’s first offered to people internally. If someone moves up and they have a need, that is when the job posting shows up externally. They find ways to hang onto their best people and they have high standards for hiring new people from the outside.

The best way any company can slow the revolving door is to take the results of an exit interview where someone quits and study it. Not just the position, but the person or people who led them or even the people they led. If one particular department loses more employees than other ones, there is something wrong with how it’s being run or who is running it. Companies need to be better about taking personal inventories on how they run for the long term and one of them is a good exit interview. To learn why someone left is to course correct for that ultimate goal of true growth.